Northern Ont. family speaks out about the impact of bullying

Bullying is an issue that many of us have experienced and that children continue to face today.

A Kirkland Lake mother told CTV News that her son has been afraid to go back to school after facing aggression from another student.

She said it started with parents breaking up a fight outside their school. We are not releasing the family’s full name.

“The altercation continued after recess, into the gym class, where things got physical,” Terry said.

“From there, threats were uttered that the child involved was going to shoot my son and his best friend. He was scared to walk home from school that night … he’s still shook from it.”

Terry said the bully got a five-day suspension after police searched the school and didn’t find a weapon.

Her son then met with a therapist.

“She was 100 per cent behind him in saying that what happened to you is valid,” she said.

“The trauma that you feel is valid. The feelings and anxiety that you’re feeling, in regard to going back to school, are valid.”

Timmins therapist Kaitlin Senkus said that’s what every adult should do for a child who’s facing bullying.

“With the best intentions, we’ll brush it off or dismiss it as, ‘it’s fine, it’ll get better when you’re older,’” Senkus said.

“Or, you know, ‘it won’t last forever’ and we’ll try and make them feel better by thinking about the future, but it doesn’t help in the moment.”

While some parents may want to take charge, she said it’s important to involve their child in finding a solution.

“You get to help the child problem solve themselves and think critically and, kind of, analyze and come up with those solutions,” Senkus said.

She said parents also need to understand why children bully. It’s often rooted in insecurities and an inability to process emotions.

“In the moment, they don’t have any other way of working through those emotions, working through those behaviours, because no one ever taught them,” Senkus said.

She said adults need to help both parties understand that physical and verbal bullying can cause lasting mental health issues in the victim — and that the bully may be coming from a rough place.

Terry’s hoping her son’s bully will see that.

“I hope that the child gets the counselling and the help that he needs to move past this, just like the other children that were involved,” she said.

Teaching children healthy communication is the key, Senkus said. Parents on both sides of the issue may also try working together, as long as they can model proper problem-solving for their kids.